Known for her candid opinions on Loose Women, she now serves as Britain’s most direct advice columnist, offering guidance on issues related to sex, relationships, and life challenges.
For inquiries, contact Coleen at dearcoleen@mirror.co.uk. Please note that personalized responses are not available. You can also reach out via mail at Coleen Nolan, The Daily Mirror, One Canada Square, London E14 5AP.
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Dear Coleen
I’m a man in my forties, married with children, facing the challenges of caring for my elderly mother who has been diagnosed with dementia for a couple of years. Over time, her demeanor has shifted from gentle and kind to hostile and verbally aggressive.
Regrettably, my children have become fearful of her behavior during our visits to her care facility, prompting me to halt their visits.
While my wife has been incredibly supportive, I hesitate to burden her with my emotional struggles as she already has other responsibilities to manage.
Feeling isolated and despondent, I find myself torn between the guilt of not visiting my mother and the need to distance myself from the challenging situation. Any advice you could offer would be greatly appreciated.
Coleen’s Response
First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle. Having personally experienced similar emotions while caring for my mother with Alzheimer’s, I understand the immense guilt and emotional turmoil that can arise.
I vividly recall praying for a peaceful resolution due to the distressing nature of the situation. Remember, you are not failing your mother or being a neglectful son. I recommend reaching out to the Alzheimer’s Society for support and guidance during this challenging time.
Connecting with others who are navigating similar experiences can be immensely beneficial. Don’t hesitate to lean on friends for emotional support and prioritize self-care without feeling guilty.
Remember, your well-being is crucial, and your mother would not want you to bear the burden alone. Seek solace in the understanding that seeking help and taking care of yourself is a vital part of the caregiving journey.
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